Big TWO!!

It is hard to imagine that two years have gone my since I felt my world come crashing down on me. Two years, but the emotions are still so close to the surface, I still cry, sometimes out of grief and others out of the immense joy I have felt from being entrusted with this sweet angel. Over these past two years I have grown more than I thought possible. I have seen miracles happen. I have learned to stop and smell the roses, celebrate the small things and be grateful for health and the challenges I have had to face. No one really talks about the sorrow they feel when their child is diagnosed with a disability. This is not something a parent ever hopes or dreams of for their child. When Kamren was young he was in speech therapy and was given the label of being in special education. My heart sunk that this label was put on him and I cried. He was in speech for less than a year and now he has no issues and that label has not followed him. Abraham was labeled with speech issues and developmental delays. Again, my heart sunk and I felt alone and like a terrible mother. I felt that these delays were due to me not being a good enough mom for him. I really beat myself up for years. Sitting in IEP’s and hearing how far behind he was just broke my heart. I didn’t know what more I could do for him and that hurt me. I did not understand why I had gone through this with these two boys, why did they have to struggle. Why were they different? What did I do to “ruin” them. It was not until I had BrynnLe that answers began to come. All that I learned with Abraham was to prepare me for her. I learned that I had to be my children’s advocates and their be her voice and to take control and not feel like a victim or blame myself. Although I did blame myself many times after getting her diagnosis, I think that is the natural thing to do. All moms can understand the sorrow and grief I went through, we all have challenges at some point in our child rearing years. I have never really spoken of my sadness. But it is real and surfaces from time to time. I cannot even start to list the amazing things that have happened over these last two years. Our family closer, our boys are so amazing and have an understanding and love for those who are different. I am in awe of them and their willingness to go outside them selves and stretch and grow. I have the best family and friends. I have an amazing support system and I feel the love of those around us. I have made some of the best friends who I never would have with out BrynnLe. She has taught me more about myself in these two years than the last 10! My heart is overflowing with gratitude. And I know that has replaced most of the sorrow and heartache. I am so thankful for those who have joined us on this journey and I am honored to be all of my children’s mother. What a great gift they are to me. I am so blest. Happy Birthday Miss BrynnLe! You are loved more than you will ever know. a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQD7aeO-JDQeBIOI3_F7TmqhXKgjN_lmUc1I6CcC-m_bylQYL-50gAbdfCaaH86BgHgXfrauQsMtp0dsXLKc7XK6A0LWGC7Fe6HA-vED5yoYucBaPke6um0DGIaoQ6vuXvlpkmK90H5NU/s1600/11054588_1055088067837957_598508495_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" >